Print This PostI started at Newcastle University when I was 18 years old. Did my undergraduate degree in Biomedical Sciences, left for a year in London, then came back to do an MSc in Public Health. It was during my masters that I met my future PhD supervisor, moved into a PhD in dementia epidemiology, and that became the foundation of my career for the following six years. All told, nearly a decade of my life was shaped by one place.
When you have been somewhere that long, it is hard to describe what leaving feels like.
The Limbo
For a long time it did not feel real. I was offered a new job in Edinburgh in June but did not start until December. That meant six months in a kind of limbo. In the early weeks it was all very exciting. Telling colleagues about a new opportunity, receiving congratulations and support from friends and people I had worked alongside for years. But there were a few challenges I was not expecting about leaving somewhere after such a long time.
The Motivation Problem
Academic work comes with a lot of flexibility, but I find that flexibility also demands a large amount of self motivation. Some days were much harder than others when I knew I was leaving and that certain work would not be continued after I was gone. That is a strange headspace to work in. You are still employed, still have responsibilities, but there is something about knowing the finish line is coming that makes it harder to push through on the stuff that feels like it will not matter in a few months.
This was made worse by the sheer volume of admin involved in leaving after a long time. When you have been embedded in multiple projects, a lot of open ended work suddenly needs a hard deadline. Things that had been ticking along at their own pace now needed wrapping up, and the to do list felt like it was growing rather than shrinking.
Prioritising What Matters
I found the best thing I could do for myself was stop and think about what work I could prioritise that would have the most benefit for me and my research going forward. This can be difficult, especially if there is pressure from others to prioritise their interests. Maintaining relationships is important, but at the end of the day it is your career that you are responsible for.
I made a list of all the work that was realistically possible to finish. Papers I could get written before I left, or at least analyses I could complete so that only the writing remained once I was gone. I focused purely on those. Everything else, no matter how interesting or how much someone wanted it done, had to be parked. That was not easy, but it was necessary.
Data and Housekeeping
There is also the matter of archiving and housekeeping all of your work and data before leaving. This was especially important for me as an epidemiologist. Data is everything. I was also acting as data manager for a large cohort study, which meant the study data had to be prepared and passed on to the next person responsible. That was not only a lot of work but came with a lot of pressure to get things right. I did not want to be the one responsible for data being missing or unusable for future studies. If you are in a similar position, give yourself more time than you think you need for this. It always takes longer than you expect.
The Emotional Side
Finally there is the emotional side of leaving. This crept up on me more than I anticipated. As the months turned to weeks and the final weeks to days, I found myself getting really sad about it. The conversations about leaving suddenly felt more real. On my final day, packing a small cardboard box and emptying a desk that had accumulated the better part of ten years worth of work was pretty emotional. There were definitely a few tears shed after the leaving party.
I think what caught me off guard was the realisation that it was not just a workplace I was leaving. It was where I grew up academically and personally. The person who walked into that building at 18 is not the person who walked out a decade later. That place and those people shaped me in ways I probably still do not fully appreciate.
Moving Forward
Overall though, the people who have been friends and mentors have not gone anywhere. I am still close with them, still meet up, and am always interested to hear what is going on and how things are changing. And likewise I have new stories to tell from a new perspective. Edinburgh has brought new challenges, new colleagues and new research questions that I am genuinely excited about.
If you are thinking about leaving somewhere you have been for a long time, my advice is simple. Be deliberate about what you prioritise. Give yourself grace on the days motivation is hard to find. Leave your data in a state you would be proud of. And do not be surprised if you get more emotional than you expected. That just means it mattered.
Dr Connor Richardson
Author
Dr Connor Richardson is a Neuro-epidemiology Research Associatea at The University of Edinburgh. His research interest lie in using advanced statistical modelling and machine learning to measure dementia risk. Connor blogs about his research, Equality, Diversity and Inclusion and sometimes his Pomapoo’s.
Emily Spencer
Dr Lindsey Sinclair
Dementia Researcher
